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Kiba's internal battles and thoughts (CY)

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Kiba Kurokage
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Posts: 2774
Joined: Fri Oct 02, 2009 1:43 pm
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Species: Lupine

Kiba's internal battles and thoughts (CY)

Post by Kiba Kurokage » Sun Nov 15, 2009 4:02 am

[center]Sunday, November 15, 2009[/center]
[center]3:50-4:02 AM[/center]


*Sighs* I have never kept a journal for longer then two or three days before I stop it... So maybe with you all commenting and talking to me, I'll be more motivated to do this and keep it up. I would encourage comments as I am often less then motivated to do much of anything... I get bored way to easily. So now that this introduction is out of the way, I guess that I should get to the actual journal.


I cut myself recently... I didn't even know that I had cut myself until a guy in the school hallway stopped me and said I was dripping blood. I thanked him and quickly headed to the bathroom. Luckily, or unluckily, he was a drinker, so he had some fairly good alcohol to sanitize my 'wound'. But it stung.... A lot... And get this. Our nurse is away from the school most days so I couldn't even go see her/him(I forgot which) about a band-aid. So I took a square of the rolling paper towels for drying your hands and made a little pad, I got it wet and got another, much larger piece to wrap the pad in place. It still hurts even now, though it's only if I stretch it too far and tear it open... Oh god... I've been rambling about a cut...

Well, in five days, I will be leaving. Probably right after school on Thursday, the 19. I will be gone until probably the 30th. So I apologise to anybody that I am RPing with for that inconvenience. I will try my hardest to find some form of computer up there in the Virginia backwoods.

Sorry, but it is late now and I have to try to get to sleep. Comments are welcome as I thrive on them. Good(insert appropriate time of day here) To you all.
The strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack.

Ask the deck and hope the cards fall in your favor...

[size=200][color=olive][b]/=~[/b][/color][b][color=brown]____[/color]
[u][color=olive](_)[/color][color=brown]|[/color][color=darkblue]+==[/color][/u][color=red]>[/color]
[color=brown][u]/[/u][/color][color=orange][u]DELTA[/u][/color][color=brown][u]\[/u][/color][color=green]==[/color][/b]
[color=Darkred]'O-O-O-O'[/color][/size]
[i][b]'SPAMMA TANK' Delta[/b][/i] [size=75]Created by [url=http://twilightus.net/feila/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=1356]Shade[/url][/size]
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Rainwhisker
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Post by Rainwhisker » Sun Nov 15, 2009 11:49 am

Cut yourself? As in on purpose or?

Well, seems everyone in this forum has their own internal-RL struggle of some form or the other, I just take it as a trial for myself and I end up fighting to get through that wall. I have the strength to break it, it's all inside me.

I um, don't know you all to well since I've only been here for such a short time, but I can only wish you luck in this journey called life.

...yeah, I get poetic now and then >.<;
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Kiba Kurokage
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Post by Kiba Kurokage » Sun Nov 15, 2009 1:58 pm

Well thank you. It wasn't on purpose... If you read, you will see that I didn't even know I had it. Kinda had to do something intentionally and not know about it.
The strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack.

Ask the deck and hope the cards fall in your favor...

[size=200][color=olive][b]/=~[/b][/color][b][color=brown]____[/color]
[u][color=olive](_)[/color][color=brown]|[/color][color=darkblue]+==[/color][/u][color=red]>[/color]
[color=brown][u]/[/u][/color][color=orange][u]DELTA[/u][/color][color=brown][u]\[/u][/color][color=green]==[/color][/b]
[color=Darkred]'O-O-O-O'[/color][/size]
[i][b]'SPAMMA TANK' Delta[/b][/i] [size=75]Created by [url=http://twilightus.net/feila/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=1356]Shade[/url][/size]
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Rainwhisker
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Post by Rainwhisker » Sun Nov 15, 2009 2:13 pm

Yipes. @[email protected];;;

Take care of yourself now. I'm heading to bed. Sleeeepy.
Image Image- I pranked/shot Felia. Mwahahaaha!

My Character Compilation
Avatar - Merci @ Duchess!!!! :D

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Kiba Kurokage
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Post by Kiba Kurokage » Sun Nov 15, 2009 2:15 pm

Night. I hope to see you in later journals... I'll try to make then about every week.
The strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack.

Ask the deck and hope the cards fall in your favor...

[size=200][color=olive][b]/=~[/b][/color][b][color=brown]____[/color]
[u][color=olive](_)[/color][color=brown]|[/color][color=darkblue]+==[/color][/u][color=red]>[/color]
[color=brown][u]/[/u][/color][color=orange][u]DELTA[/u][/color][color=brown][u]\[/u][/color][color=green]==[/color][/b]
[color=Darkred]'O-O-O-O'[/color][/size]
[i][b]'SPAMMA TANK' Delta[/b][/i] [size=75]Created by [url=http://twilightus.net/feila/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=1356]Shade[/url][/size]
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Kiba Kurokage
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Post by Kiba Kurokage » Thu Nov 26, 2009 1:41 pm

[center]Thusday, Novenber 26, 2009[/center]

[center]1:35-1:42 PM[/center]


I can't stay on for long... I have been able to grab a computer for a bit every now and then up here. Right now Dad doesn't know I am on, so I must be brief. My schedule for every day up here is as follows.


4:30 Am, Get up
5:00 Am, Be in the woods before daylight and ready to hunt.
9:30-10:00 AM, Leave the woods and go home for breakfast.
11:00 AM-2:30 PM, Lounge and do whatever, whether cutting up deer that someone else shot, or just getting a nap in.
2:30-6:30 PM, Leave to hunt again.
6:45-8:30 PM, Eat dinner and get stuff done and ready for tomorrow.
8:30-9:00PM, Relax.
9:00PM-4:30 AM, sleep.


That's my schedule... For every day here except sunday when we grind up the meat into burger and stuff... But I won't bore you all with the bloody details. I am tired and just wanna head back home soon. We get back in another four days or so, So see you all then!
The strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack.

Ask the deck and hope the cards fall in your favor...

[size=200][color=olive][b]/=~[/b][/color][b][color=brown]____[/color]
[u][color=olive](_)[/color][color=brown]|[/color][color=darkblue]+==[/color][/u][color=red]>[/color]
[color=brown][u]/[/u][/color][color=orange][u]DELTA[/u][/color][color=brown][u]\[/u][/color][color=green]==[/color][/b]
[color=Darkred]'O-O-O-O'[/color][/size]
[i][b]'SPAMMA TANK' Delta[/b][/i] [size=75]Created by [url=http://twilightus.net/feila/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=1356]Shade[/url][/size]
[i][b]AI Equipped Tank[/b][/i]

User avatar
Rainwhisker
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Posts: 1937
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 5:26 am
Gender: Male
Species: Lynx canadensis
Location: Travancore/Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
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Post by Rainwhisker » Thu Nov 26, 2009 9:37 pm

It sounds kind of fun, if you ask me -- hunting and all, especially if you intend to hunt for food (unlike lamos who hunt for pelts/horns/other things from rare exotic animals for $$$ and supposed medicine...) I want to try my hand at it one day...
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Kiba Kurokage
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Post by Kiba Kurokage » Thu Nov 26, 2009 9:38 pm

Not really all that fun... We sit in one spot, not moving for 6-7 hours at a time, waiting for deer to come by. I haven't even shot at one yet. Haven't got the chance simce I haven't seen any...
The strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack.

Ask the deck and hope the cards fall in your favor...

[size=200][color=olive][b]/=~[/b][/color][b][color=brown]____[/color]
[u][color=olive](_)[/color][color=brown]|[/color][color=darkblue]+==[/color][/u][color=red]>[/color]
[color=brown][u]/[/u][/color][color=orange][u]DELTA[/u][/color][color=brown][u]\[/u][/color][color=green]==[/color][/b]
[color=Darkred]'O-O-O-O'[/color][/size]
[i][b]'SPAMMA TANK' Delta[/b][/i] [size=75]Created by [url=http://twilightus.net/feila/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=1356]Shade[/url][/size]
[i][b]AI Equipped Tank[/b][/i]

User avatar
Kiba Kurokage
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Gender: Male
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Post by Kiba Kurokage » Tue Dec 22, 2009 3:57 am

[center]Tuesday, December 22, 2009[center][/center]

[center]3:40 Am - 3:56 AM[/center]

OK... It has been forever and a half since I posted in my journal. I hoped to post every week, but that just seems like it isn't gonna happen. I have a tendency to hit things fast and hard, and then give them up or get bored with it and start doing it less. I feel bad that it had started to happen with Feila here.... But I am feeling a bit better and hope to get back at it, albeit slower. I will also try to work on my post length during this time. hope to just get over this whole thing completely so I can fully enjoy Feila again soon.

I am enjoying my Christmas so far here, My grand parents are leaving for Virginia for Christmas up there with their children, So we got to open presents with them a bit early, though our presents are still under our tree next door. I got a bunch of collectible cards, a shirt that's really nice, A 12 month subscription for Xbox live, a case for my MP3 with a speaker in it, and a book. So a really nice Christmas so far. Me and my little brother and sister are staying over and having fun with them until they leave tomorrow.

I have a few personal problems but I don't think I am up to writing them down here right now. Maybe in my next journal and when the sun is up. For now, goodnight!
Last edited by Kiba Kurokage on Tue Dec 22, 2009 4:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
The strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack.

Ask the deck and hope the cards fall in your favor...

[size=200][color=olive][b]/=~[/b][/color][b][color=brown]____[/color]
[u][color=olive](_)[/color][color=brown]|[/color][color=darkblue]+==[/color][/u][color=red]>[/color]
[color=brown][u]/[/u][/color][color=orange][u]DELTA[/u][/color][color=brown][u]\[/u][/color][color=green]==[/color][/b]
[color=Darkred]'O-O-O-O'[/color][/size]
[i][b]'SPAMMA TANK' Delta[/b][/i] [size=75]Created by [url=http://twilightus.net/feila/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=1356]Shade[/url][/size]
[i][b]AI Equipped Tank[/b][/i]

User avatar
Rainwhisker
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Posts: 1937
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 5:26 am
Gender: Male
Species: Lynx canadensis
Location: Travancore/Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
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Post by Rainwhisker » Tue Dec 22, 2009 4:19 am

Sounds nice ^^

Have an early Christmas greetings for me~
Image Image- I pranked/shot Felia. Mwahahaaha!

My Character Compilation
Avatar - Merci @ Duchess!!!! :D

Chat on the IRC!

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Kiba Kurokage
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Posts: 2774
Joined: Fri Oct 02, 2009 1:43 pm
Gender: Male
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Post by Kiba Kurokage » Fri Apr 23, 2010 9:25 pm

[center]Friday, April 23 2010[/center]

[center]10:09 PM- 10:25 PM[/center]

Well... I am not much of a poet, but after a bit of encouragement from Indrick, and a bit of spare time in class. So I kinda wrote a dark poem... Honestly no idea why.

I call it Isolation.

Stuck inside, lost and alone,
Left in a dark room for a false sin to atone.
No voice or sound to be heard,
Nothing but these same four walls.
A longering for color, some grass, a tree, or a bird,
Waiting for the jailer to begin the calls.
Fingers raw and bleeding from hard stone,
This room is small and cold, the chill cutting to the bone.
Sitting here, hearing voices and hoping to hear a real word,
Longing to hear something outside in that long dark hall.
Many a potential guest must have been deterred,
Now, crying and lonely, none stand quite so tall.
Stuck in isolation.

I made up a second part to add on, but I like the original. Here is the last bit, minus the last line in the original.

Each of the imprisoning walls are written in red,
Drawings and wods of nightmares, monsters, and fear.
The nightmares dreamed on a cold stone bed,
Ripping, tearing, and killng all that was once held dear.
In the dark isolated cell, wishing that the prisoner within was dead.
Looking at the bloddied scrawl, feeling the time grow near,
'In the dark, your soul will perish.', one of the many dark phrases the wall read.
Lost and alone, no one cares, nor would tey shed a single tear.


Well... As dark as that was, I really think the poem itself isn't half bd. Please tell me what you think about it.
The strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack.

Ask the deck and hope the cards fall in your favor...

[size=200][color=olive][b]/=~[/b][/color][b][color=brown]____[/color]
[u][color=olive](_)[/color][color=brown]|[/color][color=darkblue]+==[/color][/u][color=red]>[/color]
[color=brown][u]/[/u][/color][color=orange][u]DELTA[/u][/color][color=brown][u]\[/u][/color][color=green]==[/color][/b]
[color=Darkred]'O-O-O-O'[/color][/size]
[i][b]'SPAMMA TANK' Delta[/b][/i] [size=75]Created by [url=http://twilightus.net/feila/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=1356]Shade[/url][/size]
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Rainwhisker
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Posts: 1937
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 5:26 am
Gender: Male
Species: Lynx canadensis
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Post by Rainwhisker » Fri Apr 23, 2010 9:36 pm

It isn't so bad, Kiba - a pretty interesting piece myself, though to be frank I have trouble linking the first bit to the added on bit.

Else, I really like the first one - paints that picture of solitude and emptiness well.
Image Image- I pranked/shot Felia. Mwahahaaha!

My Character Compilation
Avatar - Merci @ Duchess!!!! :D

Chat on the IRC!

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Kiba Kurokage
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Post by Kiba Kurokage » Fri Apr 23, 2010 9:50 pm

Oh, thank you! All you do is minus the last line in the original 'Stuck in isolation.' and put the following part right on after it.
The strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack.

Ask the deck and hope the cards fall in your favor...

[size=200][color=olive][b]/=~[/b][/color][b][color=brown]____[/color]
[u][color=olive](_)[/color][color=brown]|[/color][color=darkblue]+==[/color][/u][color=red]>[/color]
[color=brown][u]/[/u][/color][color=orange][u]DELTA[/u][/color][color=brown][u]\[/u][/color][color=green]==[/color][/b]
[color=Darkred]'O-O-O-O'[/color][/size]
[i][b]'SPAMMA TANK' Delta[/b][/i] [size=75]Created by [url=http://twilightus.net/feila/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=1356]Shade[/url][/size]
[i][b]AI Equipped Tank[/b][/i]

FallenLeaf
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Post by FallenLeaf » Fri Apr 23, 2010 10:22 pm

Kiba Kurokage wrote:Not really all that fun... We sit in one spot, not moving for 6-7 hours at a time, waiting for deer to come by. I haven't even shot at one yet. Haven't got the chance simce I haven't seen any...
Then you need to hunt in the desert. You grab a horse and ride around for a few hours, and when you take a shot, it's about 100-400 yards.... It's more fun and challenging that way.
"A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones" ` Proverbs 17:22

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